Pillow Talk
by artemisial
Summary: Fuji and Saeki talk about past “conquests”…and there are a LOT of them. Humor. Fanon and crack pairings. Essentially, an analysis of many well known characters and their behaviour in relationships.


**Title: Pillow Talk  
Author:** L. W. (artemisial and artemisial)  
**Fandom:** Prince of Tennis  
**Warnings:** shounen-ai and serious CRACK.  
**Rating:** R for discussions of mature themes (ie. sex, naturally)  
**Pairings:** Fuji and Saeki x (almost) everyone  
**Genre:** parody, attempted humor, gently poking fun at fanon  
**Summary:** Playboy!Fuji and Playboy!Saeki are having a sleepover, but they're too tired to do anything but talk about past "conquests"…and there are a LOT of them. Crack. (Essentially, this is a drabble analysis of many well-known characters and their behaviour in relationships from Fuji and Saeki's points of view.)

**Author's notes:** I don't generally like whre!Fuji or slt!Saeki but here I thought I'd use these two to poke some fun at conventional fanon pairings and characterizations. Don't get me wrong, I love the canon and fanon standards as much as you do, but it would be interesting to recognize our stereotypes and think about things in a different way, wouldn't it?

**Disclaimer:** Characters and main plot in manga and anime are copyright Konomi Takeshi; series airs on TV Tokyo. Original plot in these stories is mine. Not for profit. Do no repost without permission.

Japanese terms at end of fic.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

It was extremely late at night…or obscenely early in the morning, depending on how you looked at it. Fortunately, the two boys huddled together under the covers of the double futon had neither school nor tennis practice the next day. They had planned it that way, of course. Fuji Syuusuke and Saeki Kojiroh knew from years of experience that when they had sleepovers together they were always too tired – and occasionally too sore – for anything the day after. And after being apart for so long, as Saeki couldn't often make it into Tokyo from Chiba, they had planned on this being a weekend of late nights.

With a small yawn, Saeki lifted his head from the pillow and craned his neck, trying to see the hands of the clock on Fuji's bedroom wall in the dim glow cast by the nightlight.

"Syuu, it's 3:30. Do you think Yuuta's given up and gone to bed yet?" he asked with a sly grin, lowering his white-haired head to the pillow and facing his bedmate once more.

"Mmm, probably," Seigaku's smiling tensai replied. "You know he's never been able to stay up as late as we do, even when he's secretly dying to know what we're doing." He smiled an indulgent smile. They both knew that Yuuta still continued his age-old habit of eavesdropping outside his aniki's bedroom door when he and their childhood friend got together. Over the years he had tried to stop, but his constant suspicion that the two were discussing him or plotting something forced him to continue, albeit less frequently and more covertly. "Mmm, but why were you wondering?" Fuji continued softly.

"Mmm," Saeki continued, imitating Fuji's speech patterns perfectly from years of practice. "No reason in particular….just thinking about the last time he walked in on us doing this…" he trailed off with a smug smile and wrapped one arm around the honey-haired boy's body.

Fuji chuckled quietly. "Doing what? We're not doing anything, Kojiroh-kun," he teased.

"Saa, not yet we're not," Saeki purred in agreement and with that, his arm tightened about the slender waist and he pulled Fuji towards him and brought their lips together in a long, deep kiss.

Pleasantly surprised at Saeki's abruptness, Fuji also put his arms around his friend's back and began returning the kiss as he realized that Saeki wasn't going to let him go any time soon. Fuji's eyebrows rose even further when the sudden kiss quickly became more passionate. Saeki thrust his tongue into his mouth and began stroking it demandingly. After several heated moments of this sensuous treatment he pulled back to give one gentle nip to Fuji's plush lower lip. Then, breaking the contact as quickly as he had begun it, Saeki pulled away with an expectant grin and looked into Fuji's now open blue eyes.

"Mmm, Kojiroh, that was different," Fuji commented in mild surprise, drawling out his friend's name in pleasure. From long experience he thought he knew all of his friend's normally playful kisses by heart. "Where did you learn to do that?" he asked with a grin to match Saeki's as his eyes slid closed again.

"From who, you mean," Saeki chuckled in delight over the success of his surprise. "And the answer is Sengoku Kiyosumi," he continued smugly and with an expression akin to the cat that swallowed the canary.

"Sengoku?" Fuji repeated curiously. "He does have quite the reputation, among the girls at least. So you had the opportunity to find out if the rumors are true?" he queried with interest.

"Sure did. Still do! Damn, Syuu, he's the best I've ever had, hands down," the Rokkaku player declared as he threw his hands behind his head and flopped over onto his back with a contented sigh. Glancing over to gauge his best friend's reaction to his news, he quickly amended his statement with another playful smile when he saw the exaggerated pout on his best friend's lips. "Oh, 'cept for you, of course, Syuusuke. You know I love ya. You're my one and only," he comforted, half jokingly, and leaned in once more to peck those familiar tempting lips.

"So you keep telling me at least, Kojiroh," was the equally playful answer. Fuji leaned closer, enjoying the possibility of juicy new gossip. "And you say you're still enjoying him? I'm jealous, Koji-kun. Will you share?"

Saeki chuckled once more. "Anything for you, babe, you know that, but ask me in a week."

"Hmph. A week." Fuji pouted again before letting his habitual smile work its way over his features once more. "Ah, working your way through Yamabuki now?" he needled.

"Well, what's left?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and an adorable smirk. "Haven't you started on those green jerseys yet?"

"Mmm, I didn't really find anyone interesting there besides Sengoku, and now it seems you got to him first. And when did this become a competition, Koji-kun, hmm?" he joked.

"Ah, Syuu, it never was." He cocked his head to the side and propped it up with one hand. "It's been a while since we compared notes, you know." The dark eyes lit up as he hit on an ever popular subject they hadn't discussed lately. He leaned closer and said in a conspiratorial whisper, "So come on, let's catch up. Spill it. So, Yamabuki. What about that guy that quit, Akatsu? Nice body, I remember."

"Akatsu?" Fuji asked in disbelief. "Definitely not. Did you see what he did to Echizen's face with the rocks?" Piercing blue eyes showed themselves briefly. "That guy's into pain without the pleasure. No thanks, that's not my style. Besides, I couldn't stand to see his little kouhai cry. Let me know if you decide to try it, though," he invited as the trademark smile reappeared.

"Aah, you're probably right. Maybe not then. I'll stick to Sengoku for the moment," was the reply. He paused, "But speaking of kouhai…what about your Seigaku's hot little freshman brat?" he teased with a grin.

"Mmm, not bad, not bad at all." He smiled slightly wider in remembrance. "You'd better watch out. Give him a few more years and he'll rival even you, Kojiroh," he commented wryly and watched closely for his friend's reaction. He wasn't disappointed.

"Nani? Syuusuke! You didn't! He's only, how old?" Saeki asked, only partly feigning surprise as his eyes widened in mock disbelief.

"What do you mean, '_I_ didn't?' _I _couldn't stop _him_! Not that I wanted to, though," he reflected, slightly wider smile still in place. Echizen had indeed been a bit of a surprise, he remembered. "Well, you know what they say, like father, like son!"

"Aah, I see. Think his dad'll mind that he's into guys?"

"Probably not." Fuji chuckled. "He wouldn't understand it, but as long as his son is getting some. Besides, it would be less competition - they don't need to compete for girls as well as tennis trophies!" he replied, still laughing softly.

"Alright, that's one down. Next one?" Saeki continued with a smile.

"Whatever do you mean, next one?" Fuji asked innocently in his sugar-sweet voice.

Saeki didn't buy the act for a moment; he never had. "Oh come on, Syuusuke, you've had three years. You must have worked your way through your own team long ago," he stated confidently.

"_Me?_ Saeki Kojiroh, I know for a fact that _you_ must have almost worked your way through _my _team as well as your own as well!" Fuji scolded with mirth, no longer denying it. "Why don't you go next and we'll compare. Inui."

Saeki didn't deny the charge either but just grinned shamelessly. They knew each other too well. At the mention of the data man, he just rolled his eyes in remembrance, wondering where to start. "Inui. Damn, that guy's into any kind of kink imaginable. Not that that in itself is a problem" – he flashed a toothy grin – "but still. Talk about BDSM. You have to tie his hands just to get him to put the damn notebook down. And when _you're_ tied up, it takes all night, 'cause he writes down your every reaction and has a bloody blood pressure monitor strapped to your arm! And don't ever remind me of that love juice or whatever he spiked my drink with!" He shuddered, remembering the indescribably horrible taste.

Fuji continued to smile and just shook his head at his friend's misfortune. "Kojiroh, you

let him tie you up? Didn't you expect that? And besides, I like his juice," he commented mildly.

"Well, I don't know him as well as you do," Saeki grumbled in his own defense before his mouth twitched in a small smirk at Fuji's last comment. Then a thought struck him. "Is Yanagi Renji like that too? After Inui I didn't know if I should give him a chance or not. Oh man, can you imagine what the two of them together would be like?"

"Yanagi? It wouldn't surprise me. And you mean, what the two of them together _was _like. Saa, no wonder they've both moved on!" the tensai commented and both boys erupted into laughter at the mental images that rose unbidden to their minds.

"Ok, my turn again," said Saeki as the laughter died down. "That doubles partner of yours, Kawamura. Don't deny it, we both know it's law for doubles partners to sleep together at least once. What's he like in bed?" Saeki asked curiously. He'd heard that guy was strange.

"Maa, it depends on whether he's holding a racket or not," Fuji replied mysteriously, his smile betraying nothing.

"Huh? Why would he be holding a racket during…?" Saeki asked in confusion.

Fuji shrugged. "He's Taka-san. He never goes _anywher_e without his racket. It's never more than an arm's length away. Definitely a…"

"Fetish object!" they both said at the same time and chuckled.

"Basically, you either dominate or be dominated. The best I can say is, you have to experience it for yourself. There's no other way to explain it," Fuji concluded. "At least it's always interesting!"

"Ah, I'll keep that in mind," Saeki replied, somewhat dubiously. He wasn't sure about Fuji, but he liked to know what was going on, thank you very much. He'd have to think about that one…

Fuji smiled to himself. His Taka-san had a special place in his heart. "Now you enlighten me. Momoshiro. I haven't _completely_ 'worked my way through the team,' as you put it. He always seemed so jumpy and kept saying he was busy and running off. I get the feeling that for some reason he's afraid of me…" he trailed off.

Saeki laughed out loud at that. "Syuu, who isn't? Ah, I'm kidding, gomen, gomen. Aah, Momoshiro. Too easy! What a beginner! The guy's desperate. He's not getting any love, is he?" he shook his head.

"Not with Kamio watching over An like a hawk. Saa, who knows? Maybe Echizen will take pity on him."

Saeki whistled. "Wow, you said the kid moves fast, huh?"

"What do you expect? He's another tensai!" Fuji chuckled again and Saeki joined in, agreeing completely.

Saeki thought for a moment. "Well, I confess I haven't made it all the way through your roster either. That other second year, the one with the bandana, the stand-offish one. Makes this weird noise, and is always fighting with Momoshiro. Have any luck with him?" he asked.

"Kaidoh Kaoru. Mmm, he's a good boy. Very respectful. Never says no to a sempai." Fuji only kept his smile from turning into a small smirk from long years of practice.

Saeki raised his eyebrows with a questioning smile. "There's gotta be more to it than that, Syuusuke. You never pressure anyone…"

"Are you implying I would have to? Besides, it's not a problem that he can't say no to a sempai if he really doesn't _want_ to say no, ne?" And with that the smirk did break out. Oh yes, Fuji had enjoyed convincing Kaidoh that he didn't want to say no very much. Besides, he suspected that the boy had a weak spot for small, cute things- himself included- despite his better judgment.

Saeki shook his head with a rueful smile. "I knew it. I admit, no one can resist you, Syuu. Not even people in committed relationships, am I right?"

"No need to be jealous, Koji-kun. You're pretty irresistible yourself," Fuji replied, pecking the white-haired boy on the chin and poking his adorable dimple. "And just what do you mean by that? I'm hurt. You know I never intend to come between people."

"I know you don't intend to. But be honest. The Golden Pair? How could you resist? You've played doubles with Kikumaru-kun…according to the law of doubles…" he added in a slight sing-song voice and grinned in anticipation of the response.

Fuji chuckled. "You've got me there. Want me to start with the Vice Captain?" teased Fuji, turning the tables on his friend.

"Oishi? You've been with Oishi? Now that _does_ surprise me!" Saeki admitted with wide eyes. "I thought he and his partner were practically married and he was the devoted husband!"

"Not 'practically,' They _are. _And he _is_."

"Then how did you manage to…? I though they were happy together, and I never thought your Vice would fool around…"

"Oh, they are – now- and he wouldn't – now. It was last year, and they were on a 'break'," Fuji explained, amused at Saeki's confusion.

"You're joking, The Golden Pair were on a break? They actually called it that? What happened?"

Fuji shrugged. "What usually happens. They had a fight and were angry at each other all week. It seemed like Oishi wanted to hurt Eiji and I think I know why but I could never get all of the details…" He pouted.

Suddenly a though occurred to Saeki. "Wait, when last year?"

"Saa…late June?"

"Oh man, you've gotta be kidding me. Bet I know why!" Saeki wasn't able to stifle a laugh of disbelief and looked at his friend with mischief dancing in his eyes.

"Why Kojiroh, it didn't have something to do with you, did it?" Fuji raised an eyebrow, though the eyes stayed closed. After all, knowing his friend, he wouldn't put anything past him.

"Let's just say that Kikumaru-kun and I had a couple of little" he paused, "encounters…of our own at the beginning of June. They must have been having problems, since he seemed quite enthusiastic about the two of us becoming, ah, better, acquainted." Saeki pursed his lips thoughtfully before breaking into a smile at the pleasant memories of said "encounters."

At that Fuji burst into delighted laughter. "Eiji? Oh, no, they wouldn't have been having problems! He's always like that! Of course he's completely devoted to Oishi, but let's just say Eiji,…mmm, loves to have fun and has, mmm, more than enough love to go around. He's just usually more discreet about it!"

Saeki grinned even wider. He could definitely identify with that type. "Such a gorgeous tease. It must be the red hair; look at Sengoku, Mukahi, and that Josei Shounen guy. So you're saying Oishi must have found out." He gave a small grimace. "We didn't mean for it to hurt anyone, and I didn't know about them then." Suddenly the wicked grin returned. "So, how was Oishi?"

Fuji cocked his head to the side, considering. "Mmm, ok. He doesn't adapt well to other people, though – he's only been with Eiji for much too long." He sighed. "And I had to spend the entire next morning and half the afternoon calming him down when the guilt hit. After that, he couldn't even look at me for a month."

Saeki shot Fuji a mock sympathetic look before baiting him once more. "So don't you wanna know how Eiji was?"

Fuji's smile just widened a mere fraction of an inch in the silence that followed.

"Ah, Syuusuke, what's the use? You already know better than I do, don't you!" Saeki rolled his eyes as he punched his friend lightly in the arm.

"Come on, Kojiroh. You've seen him glomp. He can't keep his hands off anybody." Fuji kept the wider grin in place. He did so enjoy his two best friends. "Acrobats are great, ne?"

Saeki chucked again. "Depends what kind of stamina they've got…" he mused. After a moment, his eyes lit up. "Hey, what about the Hyotei acrobat…the red head…Mukahi…"

"Gakuto." Fuji was inscrutable as always.

"Ever been with him?" Saeki questioned. "Bet you haven't," he continued. "That drawling partner of his looks like the jealous type. Bet you've never been with one of them," Saeki challenged.

"One of them? No, of course not. Oshitari and Mukahi are 100 percent faithful. They only have sex together."

"Huh. How boring, only having sex with each other." Saeki dismissed them with a yawn and a casual wave of his hand.

"I didn't say that, Kojiroh. I said they only have sex together" he paused to open his eyes a fraction to gauge his friend's reaction, "with other people."

"No way!" Saeki practically rolled off the futon in his excitement. "I knew you were experimental, Syuu, but are you saying you had a three-some with them?"

"Well, yes. Technically a four-some but Jiroh immediately fell asleep on the bed. Seems like Oshitari was used to it, though, and they just moved him over…" Fuji chuckled at his friend's reaction. "Don't look so surprised, Koji-kun. You might have known it was going to happen _some_ time," he laughed. "Four is only one more than three."

"Yeah, well, I just, you know, hadn't quite…got around to it yet…" Saeki stuttered and blushed a bit. Once more the tensai was one up on him, but he was used to that. Trying to steer the conversation away from himself, he quickly added, "Ah, Jiroh! I bet that ticks Atobe off, always having a boyfriend fall asleep like that."

"Hmmm? Oh no, Jiroh's always awake for that with him – didn't you know? Atobe's appetite is voracious, whether it's for money, luxuries, or sex. He's used to getting whatever he wants when he wants it, and he always wants more than he needs. Of _everything_," Fuji added meaningfully.

"So he's the reason Jiroh sleeps all day, 'cause he keeps him up all night?" Saeki snickered. "Seems to me there was a time when _I_ was always tired, thanks to a certain someone…," and he shot his bedmate a teasing glance. "But couldn't he just fall asleep and let Atobe do his thing?"

"Not if he's top he can't," was the succinct answer. Fuji relished these moments when he knew things his friend didn't.

Once more Saeki's snow-white brows shot to the top of his head. "Jiroh's _top_?"

"Jiroh's whatever Atobe tells him to be. After all, they are the perfect pair. Jiroh worships, Atobe is adored. And it's not hard to cheat on a boyfriend whose eyes are always closed, ne?" Fuji opened an eye long enough to wink playfully.

Saeki wore a rueful grin as he was once again being shown just how little he really knew about things. Being with Fuji was like that for everyone, though, he knew. You just had to accept it and hope he let you in on the important things. Like this!

"Huh, even with your eyes closed, I wouldn't want to see anyone even try and cheat on you, Syuusuke!" He shuddered just thinking about it – the poor stupid fool wouldn't even know what hit him. Good thing Fuji wasn't pursuing someone seriously – he didn't think. Things could just get messy.

"Huh. So, they're into multiples at Hyotei, huh?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant. He really hadn't spent much time around those preppies. Yet.

Fuji shrugged and winked again. "It's Hyotei – it's an orgy waiting to happen, especially with Oshitari and Mukahi around." To be honest, he hadn't expected those rich kids to be as much fun as they were, either. He smiled as he thought of Saeki having a go with them. Saeki was smiling slightly, thinking the exact same thing.

"You're right, I've got to get over to Hyotei more often and find some things out for myself. I still have trouble believing Atobe switches and bottoms, though," Saeki mused.

Fuji ever so slightly lifted an eyebrow. "What's so hard about it?" he asked. "You know he hates doing all the work—there's nothing he likes better than to lay back and let others sweat it out for his pleasure, whether it's doing things for him, or doing _him._ Once was enough for me, thanks," he continued with negligent shrug of his shoulders.

Saeki just rolled his eyes. He shouldn't be surprised Fuji had scored himself a captain. He just wondered if Atobe was the _only_ captain and Oishi the _only_ vice…and his eyes lit up as he thought of a new couple to discuss. "Ok, Rikkai Dai—The Three Emperors. The first two—the captain and his vice-captain. I don't _need_ to ask here. Sanada's a seme if I ever saw one. I know that if you were with Sanada, he topped," Saeki stated with conviction.

Fuji recognized a challenge when he saw one, even from his bright-eyed friend. That pronunciation was a challenge to Fuji to deny it. He grinned and refused to play along. "Of course," he replied.

Saeki smirked at his minor victory. "And of course Yukimura is such a pretty uke. That pair is so easy to read. Don't deny it, Syuusuke. We already know Seiichi was bottom to both of us," he pressed.

Fuji's ever-present grin never wavered, and after all, it had no reason to. "Maa, yes, of course, but do you know WHY, Kojiroh?"

"What do you mean, why?" Saeki blinked in incomprehension, drawing his head back slightly to stare at his friend. "Does it matter? Yukimura's got uke written all over his girly face and figure. The hair doesn't exactly help. Don't get me wrong, I love Seiichi's hair, but…"

Patient though he was, Fuji couldn't contain this little secret and cut him off. "There's

a reason he was uke with us. Come on, guess why!" Fuji cocked his head, awaiting the guesses.

"Because…Sanada never lets him top so he's embarrassed to because he has no experience?" Saeki wondered aloud after a moment of thought.

Fuji just gave a small, delighted chuckle. "No! Wow, way out in Chiba you really don't hear the rumors, do you, Koji-kun? It's because when the two of them are together, Sanada ALWAYS begs him to top. Seiichi never gets a chance to switch!" Fuji laughed once more, delighted to surprise his friend again. The laugh quickly transformed into a wicked smile at the remembrance of that evening spent in Yukimura's bed, and the scandalous secrets the captain had gleefully told him in exchange for some of his own. Seiichi was definitely worth spending more time with, he thought, for more than the first time…

Saeki just continued staring at his friend, wondering once more where the tensai came by such information. He'd probably never know, but was grateful his Syuu had decided to share that tidbit. He shook his head and pursued his original train of thought. "Kirihara, then. Ever tumbled that tantrum-prone brat?" he asked curiously.

"Kirihara? No. I've thought about playing him off the court as well as on it, of course. When he's not scowling, he's not hard on the eyes. But no, despite what you've heard about me, you know I believe that like tennis, sex shouldn't be used to hurt people, Kojiroh," Fuji jokingly scolded and poked his friend in the side.

Saeki grinned and batted the hand away. "Unless they like it like that!" he retorted. "Hey, you've seen Sanada smack him around – think Akaya-kun likes it that way?"

Fuji pursed his lips. "Saa…Seems like Sanada needs to get some stress relief somehow, with Seiichi in the hospital. But no, Kirihara was terrified when he thought I tried to hurt him in that match. I don't think he likes pain," Fuji concluded.

Saeki realized Fuji obviously knew more about Rikkai Dai than he did, and thought he'd press for more information when he could. He leaned closer and whispered conspiratorially, "I've been wondering about the D1 pair, Niou and Yagyuu. I've heard they switch identities. Huh, I bet they're the ultimate versatile pair. So, if you score with one, how do you really know which one you were with?" His tone made it obvious this was a question he had long wanted an answer to.

Fuji didn't even hesitate with is answer. "Maa, Kojiroh, think about it. If they were accurately acting the part, why would it matter? It should be exactly the same," he replied with a shrug.

Saeki pondered this logic. He still wasn't convinced, but it wasn't a bad answer. "Ok, point. But I've heard that sometimes they even get confused when they're together. Talk about role flexibility…I mean, is it masturbation if they're both Niou at the same time?"

Fuji opened his eyes at that to shoot his childhood friend an amused glance. "Sae…you've been reading fanfiction again, haven't you?"

Saeki's cheeks colored briefly but as he held the gaze it was clear he was unrepentant. "Well?" he challenged again, grinning.

Eyes still open, Fuji rolled them. "Kojiroh…." he sighed, drawing out the name.

"Fine, fine." Saeki let the subject drop for the time being as he concluded he would have to find out for himself. Not an unpleasant prospect, that, he smirked. Since that about covered all the people in Rikkai Dai that had caught his eye, he though about what Fuji had said about the brat…"Speaking of Kirihara, I'd heard that you and Fudomine's Tachibana were becoming close. Just how close?"

"Maa…He's a friend," Fuji replied, truthfully enough.

"What kind of friend, Syuusuke?" Saeki continued.

Fuji was teasing him now. "A close friend."

"I know just exactly what you do with close friends, Syuu, so tell," Saeki insisted.

Fuji relented. "Well, he made it clear he wanted to thank me for teaching Kirihara a lesson…." The smile deepened. Then he shrugged. "Seems all I had to do was bring him flowers and win a game before we became "close" friends. I kind of feel sorry for him. I get the feeling Kamio and Shinji don't invite him over to…play…along with them nearly enough." Fuji shook his head at Tachibana's misfortune.

Saeki nodded in agreement. He'd be lonely too if the red- and blue-haired boys didn't pay him enough attention. Then a though struck him. "Hey, isn't Tachibana still in the hospital?"

Fuji's lips twitched—he'd wondered if Saeki would remember that. "Yes, he is. They want him to be close for the physical therapy."

Saeki frowned. "So when would you have gotten a chance to…" he trailed off as realization dawned. "Syuusuke! You didn't!" He suddenly grinned at his friend's daring. "In the hospital? How did you do it?"

Fuji shrugged, unconcerned. "The same way I do it outside of the hospital," he deadpanned. Then the smile turned impish. "Besides, what's suspicious about one tennis player repeatedly coming to visit another?"

Saeki rolled his eyes. "Everything, if one of them is you!" He thought again about Tachibana and Kirihara. "So you don't use sex to hurt, huh? Well, mind if I did it for you? What about that manager at St. Rudolph's?" he asked with a wolfish grin. This, he knew, was a subject which Fuji would instantly warm to, one way or another. Suddenly he lost the smile. "I don't like the thought of that guy's hands on Yuuta either, even for training. Could be a bad influence," he declared, narrowing his eyes.

"Ha!" Fuji snorted in disbelief, though his smile had noticeably lessened. "Bad influence? He grew up around the two of us, Sae!"

At that, Saeki threw him a rueful smile. "Well, at least we never hurt him….much. And we tried our best to protect him…somewhat," he amended. "At least we love him!" he finally protested in wide-eyed innocence but with sincere conviction.

Fuji's face still showed his seriousness. "Yes, we do," he nodded.

Saeki hesitated a moment, then decided to just plunge ahead. "Love him like a brother, or more, Syuu?"

Fuji's still-open eyes flashed dangerously, and while Saeki registered the threat, he couldn't stop himself now. "Come on, Syuusuke, spill," he pleaded. "We've all been wondering, what's the real deal between Yuuta and his aniki?"

Before Saeki could continue with his speculation, Fuji instantly put a stop to it with his next sharp words and piercing eyes. "No one speaks about my brother that way, Saeki Kojiroh- not even you. _You know that."_ The low, soft voice they were spoken in added to the threat rather than detracted from it, and Saeki cursed his insatiable curiosity. Suddenly, those impossibly blue eyes snapped shut again and the omnipresent smile reappeared as if nothing had happened. "How many times do I have to tell you, Kojiroh? Lay off the fanfic and get a real life!"

Instantly relieved, Saeki once more decided to push his luck and shot back, "Well, if that's the case, and you don't want that twisty-haired freak's hands on him, what about mine?" he asked, half teasing and half genuinely curious to hear the answer from the protective older brother.

Fuji's smile remained, as always, inscrutable. "Frankly, I'm surprised you haven't already. Go right ahead, Sae…if he'll let you – hasn't he been traumatized enough by us?" The grin widened a fraction. "But go right ahead and touch him if you want. Just remember..." Fuji paused as his eyes peeped open the tiniest bit, "…hurt him, and I'll kill you." The smile never wavered and the pleasant tone never left his voice. Somehow, Saeki realized, this made it worse.

Saeki realized he had drawn back to the opposite side of the bed without realizing it. "Uh, yeah, I knew that," he gulped, and swallowed down his sudden unease. Damn it, how did Syuusuke manage to do that to him, even after all these years? He shook his head in bemusement and moved back to the warm hollow his body had made beside his friend. Running a nervous hand through his hair and started up again. "Ok, moving on. My turf—Rokkaku."

"It's your turn, Koji-kun. I've answered enough. Now you enlighten me," Fuji teased. "After all, it's your team. If you want to talk about brothers, tell me about the Kisarazu twins…"

Saeki's eyes instantly lit up. "Hey, yeah, Syuusuke, you should come and join us some time! Ryoh and I can give you a call the next time 'Sushi's home…" he trailed off with a cheeky wink. That was a four-some he thought he could handle. He cursed himself for not thinking—or daring—it before.

Fuji raised his eyebrows and smiled wider, though he really wasn't surprised. "I thought so. I just might take you up on that next time I come back to the beach." He might, too, he thought. "And what about that adorable young captain of yours?"

Saeki, still grinning in anticipation, blinked with innocence. "Who, Aoi? Syuusuke, you've definitely got a captain complex, don't you? He's a freshman. Too young," he declared.

"He's the same age as Echizen," Fuji pointed out.

Saeki's reply was indignant, though his dark eyes couldn't contain his true amusement. "Yeah, but he came onto you and you let him! Unlike _some_, I don't corrupt the innocent, Syuusuke,"

"Bullshit, Sae. What about me?" Fuji immediately shot back as the smile deepened into a rarely-seen wicked grin.

Saeki's eyes widened in mock disbelief as his lips twitched into a wry smile. "You corrupted yourself, Syuusuke. I just came along for the ride," he snorted.

Fuji laughed long a loud at that, but couldn't let the slight to his character go unpunished.

Saeki's answering laughter grew louder and lasted longer as Fuji dove down beside him to tickle him senseless. Saeki tried his best to catch his breath and retaliate. After a few raucous moments of rolling around on the mattress, the two friends breathlessly declared a truce and collapsed upon each other to recover.

Saeki, his head lying in Fuji's lap, looked up at the tensai's happy, flushed face and knew that this was his chance to ask the question he was dying to know the answer to. He couldn't let Syuusuke keep this one a secret, and he had saved the best for last. He tried to contain his curiosity behind a huge yawn before he casually asked, "Ok, Syuu, just one more. Speaking of captains… what about that stoic buchou of yours?"

Fuji smiled beatifically down at him but held his peace, waiting for a more specific question.

Saeki tilted his head back to better gauge his best friend's response and pressed on. "You must have been with him. Now here's the million dollar question – who was seme?"

Fuji once more raised his thin brows. "Who do you _think _was seme?"

Saeki pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes in thought for a moment. "The jury's still out on that one," he finally responded. "You're not gonna tell, are you?" he asked, disappointed.

The beatific smile remained and Fuji's eye-creases deepened. "You know me too well, Sae."

His friend just sighed. "I don't think I'll ever be able to decide. A guy can fantasize, though, can't he? But come on, spill the details!" Saeki used his best pleading look as he continued to gaze, upside down, at Fuji's face and clutched at his friend's hands. "Did you get any reaction out of him? Did he finally snap with lust?" Saeki carried on, excitedly warming to his subject. "You know, after years of enduring your particular brand of teasing and sexual torture, one day there was finally a break in that cold exterior and he just slammed you up against the wall in a moment of weakness, ravishing that slender body of yours with rough kisses of long-suppressed passion and sexual frustration? Frantic, desperate sex in the locker-room shower? Brown-gold eyes clouded with lust, head thrown back in ecstasy? That sort of thing?" Saeki's eyes had taken on a faraway look as he imagined the encounter, but at the end of his spiel his excited gaze returned to Fuji's, hoping for confirmation of the fantasy about his friend.

Fuji cocked an eyebrow, grinned, and gently swiped his thumb across Saeki's lush lower lip. "I think you're drooling, Koji-kun," he teased. Saeki's tongue idly swiped out after the finger, but he was not to be distracted from his query and never looked away from Fuji's face.

At his stubbornness, Fuji laughed in earnest and shook his head in mild disbelief before responding, "No. No! Of course not! This is _Tezuka_ we're talking about. The man has all the expressive capability of a pet rock."

Saeki's face clouded in disappointment. Seeing it, Fuji thought for a moment. "There was an eyebrow twitch when he came, though," he grinned.

"Wow, lucky you!" Saeki immediately responded, enthusiasm restored. "I didn't even get that!" He sighed once more. "And I was expecting so much more!" he pouted.

Once again, Fuji gusted a sigh and opened his eyes, only to roll them. "Kojiroh, I keep telling you…you read too much fanfiction!"

Saeki, head still in Fuji's lap, continued to pout a little longer up at him, hoping for sympathy. He was rewarded when the light-brown head descended to plant a sweet upside-down kiss on his lips. "But I love you anyway," Fuji conceded, before leaning down to deepen the kiss.

After a few moments spent indulging in this comfortable play, Saeki broke away and laughed again at a sudden thought. "Hey Syuu, I wonder if our parents can hear us talking. Wonder what they'd think of us if they knew!"

Syuusuke's eyes slit open to stare at his friend. After a brief moment, they slid closed again and he chuckled as well. "Well, what if they hear? There's nothing we can do about it. Besides, we can tell them that we're still young yet…and to just wait until we discover girls!"

At that, both friends burst into a fit of what could only be described as giggles as they curled around each other, kissed goodnight once more, and settled in to sleep away what was left of the night.

**Japanese terms used here:**

Aah – yeah, yes

Aniki- older brother, what Yuuta always calls Fuji Syuusuke

Buchou- captain

Tensai – prodigy, genius.

Maa– well,

Saa – so, yes,

Kouhai – lower classman

Nani – what?

Gomen – sorry

Sempai – upperclassman

Ne – eh, hey, aren't they, isn't it, don't you agree, etc.

Glomp – action where one character throws themselves onto another in a hug or tackle or something similar

Seme – aggressive partner

Uke – passive partner


End file.
